Now this isnt meant to sound like a feminist entry- power to the woman and all that. What I want to accolade is the capability of a woman in the birth process, and hopefully instill a bit of confidence in any woman reading this blog. I have had a couple of experiences recently which has truly instilled an awe and confidence in the womans ability to give birth. It truly is mind over matter- I have seen such extreme differences in the way that women cope with childbirth- one lady looked like she was possessed by the devil! No joke...and she was only 3 cm!! Such a long way still to go, and then just the other day, I had a client who though I could tell that she was going through a very intense and painful experience had determined within herself- yes, this is painful, but I am able to do this, and I will do this. It was inspiring! She breathed her way through labour, with her birth partners providing support along the way- through verbal assurances, back massage and reminding her to drink and eat a light diet. It makes a massive difference how the birth partners support the labouring woman... men- it is really no time for being sarcastic, offensive or derogatory!! The woman is going through one of the most intense experiences known to human kind- and a slight or sarcasm really isn’t appreciated! However, in my experience of watching couples interact- humour, love, support, admiration- makes the process that little bit more bearable for the woman. As you know what- as a basic instinct- that woman needs affirmation that what she is doing is good, do-able, and is going to achieve something worthwhile- and while I as a midwife can and do do that... it is far more powerful coming from her nearest and dearest!
Women- don’t underestimate your body-it is made to give birth. You are a baby making and birthing machine! (Without wanting to sound too mechanical!) You create life. You are able to give birth. God is the greatest scientist ever- he knows how you work on a molecular and grand scale. He created women to create and give birth to miracles. Having been the first hand witness to this, I know that you can do it. Prepare for birth- its all in the mindset. If you go into birth terrified, and thinking- this is going to be the worst thing in my life- it will be- the more you fear, the more painful it will be (that is a scientifically proven fact). On the other hand, if you go into it thinking- I have sculpted and created new life, and now my body can and will give birth to a baby, new life... it is going to be intense, but I know that I can do it. You will do it. Your perception of the pain will be lower, and thus the level of pain will also be lower. Believe in your ability and power!
I almost completely agree with you.. now I've only got 2 birth experiences to judge on.. but I'm not so sure if you are right when you say, that encouragement from a birth partner is more important than from a midwife. My two births were both with the same very supportive husband.. but the real difference, was part-way through my first birth, when I had a change in midwife, and the new midwife was very unsupportive, saying that I looked exhausted and dehydrated.. personally I think that's when all my problems started, because I trusted that the midwife knew what she was talking about, she'd seen more births than me or my husband, she must know how well I was REALLY doing.. so for me, she had a massive impact.. resulting in a C-section.
ReplyDeletePS I'm sure the reason why you don't see this is because you are a supportive midwife, so in your experience its the difference in partner encouragement that seems to make the most difference :)
Hmm... I didn't know I was a baby making and birthing machine - I had hoped I was something more important than that - a thinking, sentient human being who could make a contribution to the world in my own right.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you're right. Women should be bear foot and pregnant. They should know their place. They need to get back to our submissive procreative roots and understand that we are just baby vessels. The Taliban have got it right. :-)