When people find out what my job is, more than often they say something along the lines of "doesnt that gross you out?!", and in response, I say "nope, but I do look at it as a "gross miracle"!
You know, where I trained, the midwives used to tell the women "Leave your dignity at the door love, and you can pick it up again when you leave!"
Don't even bother trying to keep up appearances when in labour, as pretty much everything which is undignified occurs during labour- you vomit, poop, get naked, scream gutterally, lash out, gunge, bleed, get sweaty, tear- am I making having a baby sound appealing to all you broody folk? And for you preggers women- dont worry- you soon forget the grossness when you see the pure innocent child that you give birth too ;) Dont believe me- well, ask all those women who have more than one child! Or to put it another way- the grossness and undignifiedness and extreme pain is worth it for one little miracle- or so the mothers tell me, I have yet to have the honour and experience of giving birth... I'll let you know whenever I do have a baby!
Recently shifts that I have had, has reinstated and reconfirmed my wonder of women... 2 women who were giving birth, both on zero pain relief! One lady came in pushing and then gave birth 15 minutes later! (Trouper of a woman! The lovely husband had to go shortly after birth , but was like "I want to buy you a drink" "Sure, I dont drink alcohol though!" Next shift I came on, he'd brought the most enormous 3 litre bottle of lemonade in as a thank you! Bless him! Made me laugh) Their baby came out "face to pubes"- as its so lovelyly named! Normally when a baby is born, if the woman is sitting upright, then the head is facing downwards- this is the best way for a baby to be born as it means the smallest diameter of the head is exiting first, and so comes out "easiest" (I say "easiest" as its still a massive object coming out a tiny tunnel!). The official term of face to pubes, is occipito posterior (OP's). From the 4 OP's that I've seen, the pushing stage is very different- in that the women seem to push for a longer period than the Occipito Anteriors (OA's), but when the head comes- normally the vertex advances fraction by fraction with contraction by contraction, but with OP's you see a sliver of vertex, and then within a couple of pushes the whole head exits! This lucky woman didnt even sustain even a fraction of a tear! Amazing!
The other lady, came in and within the hour pushed her baby out- again, with no pain relief, not even Entenox- our "happy gas", when I came in, she was so calm, I would not have guessed she was 9cm! It is incredible the difference between one woman and another- one I have seen while a student literally looked possessed by the devil, thrashing around the bed, screaming, and was just 3cm, other women- like this woman, 9cm, getting to fully and just breathing through the contractions. Its would seem its how well these women can focus their mind, whereas the "possessed woman" just let the pain drive her into hysterics, this lady, when I asked her husband how she was coping so well (as she spoke very minimal English) said that she realised that if she allowed herself to get scared by the pain, the more painful it would be, so instead she focussed on breathing and detaching herself from the situation- a very similar technique to hypnobirthing (a topic which deserve's a post all to itself! Google it for the time being :)
Women of the world- dont let the pain get the better of you, I know this is more easily said than done, but, it is achievable. Don't worry about the mess birth makes, the midwife will sort that out... just focus on getting your baby introduced to the world :)
