One thing, one of the many things, about my job as a midwife, is how close one gets to "the edge" on a daily basis when working on labour ward. Now in this entry I do not wish to frighten anyone away from labour, and for ladies to remember that billions of women through the ages have given birth safely and without hinderance, and God himself, has declared that mankind is to multipy and replenish the earth- and so as such, that women are built for birthing babies!
Alas, this does not take away from the fact that so many things can go wrong so very easily in pregnancy. Uterine rupture, postpartum or antepartum haemorrhages, cord prolapses, shoulder dystocia, maternal sepsis, eclampsia, babies born "flat", placental abruption, puerperal sepsis, fetal bradycardia's etc. However, a word to reassure, these emergencies are on the rare side, and I mean 1 in many thousands for the most part. The majority of women deliver without things going pear-shaped. I think though as a newly qualified midwife, these potential emergencies can play havoc with one's confidence occasionally. I was blessed, or maybe not blessed to not once come across a true emergency of the above during my 3 years of training (which goes to show how rare these obstetric emergencies are), and thus my concern was whether I would recognise an emergency in time to pull that "emergency buzzer". Would I see the turtleling of the vertex, or pick up on the mother's abdominal pain being different from contractions, or act quickly enough if a baby was born flat.
Blessedly, the first emergency I had, the co-ordinator was in the room when the lady "decided" to haemorrhage (PPH) on me, before I had worried that I wouldn't recognise a PPH, but gosh- there's no mistaking it, the sheer volume of blood which escapes a woman in such a short period of time, I knew most certainly that the emergency buzzer needed to be pulled to alert the Doctors to the situation. Women are robust creatures, even though the lady lost so much blood, she was still conscious, and if it wasn't for the fact that I could see copious amount of blood being lost, from the woman's behaviour, I would not have guessed for a moment she was haemorrhaging.
There are so many things to keep track of when caring for a labouring woman- especially if the woman's body decides to become high risk... can I advocate the MEOWS chart here for all midwives!! I didnt realise until the last week (after it was highlighted to me by the risk manager) that I needed to be keeping a MEOWS chart for labouring women, and filling that in as well as the partogram... gosh there is a lot of repetition in our note-making, but now speaking from personal experience, this really helps flag up women who are taking a turn for the worse side- those white, yellow and red alerts- really pointedly help one see that the woman needs reviewing! Temperatures, pulses, blood pressures, fetal heart, cervical dilation, position and presentation of babies, urinalysis etc etc, certainly is one heck of a list of things to keep on top of in the care of a lady. I love it when I get a nice low risk woman, I love my high risk woman for the sheer miracle that they are... but its so nice just having to listen in to the baby every 15 mins, and letting the women mobilise as much as they desire, without having to constantly readjust those blinkin toco's and transducers!
Its hard core is my job at times. Its scary and stressful at times. Its gross at times. Its tragic at times.
But I love it (at almost all times!). Because, I am in the business of helping babies be born!
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
A life never lived.
This topic I know is going to be a controversial one. One which I know people have opposing view on. That of abortion. The reason my opinion has been further cemented is due to an experience I had the other day in hospital. I came on shift, to discover a woman had miscarried her child at 22 weeks. I had never up until that point seen a foetus of that gestation. And so all day, I knew that I had to look at the the foetus, as one day, I will have to care for a woman who has miscarried, and I did not want to confront the body of a dead baby for the first time while looking after the the mother, as I knew that I would be a wreck.
I eventually plucked up the courage to go and look at this child. I say child, because this baby was perfect in its form, her little hands and feet were miniature versions of the healthy term baby which I had delivered earlier that day, while her skin was not yet the healthy pink, and her head in comparison to the rest of her body was overly large- looking at this baby- she was perfectly formed.
Her mother had no doubt had dreamt of, and already visualised how she would raise her, and cherish her, before that fateful day struck. And yes, I did cry. I wept for the loss of a baby. For the loss of life which the mother had so very much wanted to bring into this world. It took me quite the while to regain my composure, and only after several hugs and conversations with my lovely matron and fellow midwives.
I feel blessed that I believe, and know that this mother will have the chance to raise her daughter in the life hereafter, that perhaps this daughter is now going to become one of her mothers guardian angels. That this baby will be reunited with its mother in the life here after. I couldn't tell the mother this, as it is not allowed by the rules and regulations of the NMC. But, I know it to be true.
So, yes, abortion. Why this came to mind, was that I realised, that this baby was 22 weeks, and was already a fully formed baby from 12 weeks. And yet, women can abort their baby up until 24 weeks, if its medically "not perfect" . Its pure murder- this is strong language, but this is how I see it. If a woman could see the child that she is consenting to kill, I wonder how many would go through with it. I've been on the ward when a foetus with Downs Syndrome was aborted at 22 weeks- one mother, who was so desperate to have a child, and another who voluntarily took the life of her child. If only, they could see and realise how precious this child is- its a creation of God, it has a soul. While its "quality of life" may be different- it is life that the mother is toying with and taking away. Every baby has the right to life. No one would ever consent to killing a baby once its out of the uterus, and yet somehow its seen as ok to kill a baby while it is living in the womb.
Every soul is precious in the eyes of God- whether they are a 12 week baby or a 100 year old woman! Respect life. Love life. Love the miracle that is a creation baby.
I eventually plucked up the courage to go and look at this child. I say child, because this baby was perfect in its form, her little hands and feet were miniature versions of the healthy term baby which I had delivered earlier that day, while her skin was not yet the healthy pink, and her head in comparison to the rest of her body was overly large- looking at this baby- she was perfectly formed.
Her mother had no doubt had dreamt of, and already visualised how she would raise her, and cherish her, before that fateful day struck. And yes, I did cry. I wept for the loss of a baby. For the loss of life which the mother had so very much wanted to bring into this world. It took me quite the while to regain my composure, and only after several hugs and conversations with my lovely matron and fellow midwives.
I feel blessed that I believe, and know that this mother will have the chance to raise her daughter in the life hereafter, that perhaps this daughter is now going to become one of her mothers guardian angels. That this baby will be reunited with its mother in the life here after. I couldn't tell the mother this, as it is not allowed by the rules and regulations of the NMC. But, I know it to be true.
So, yes, abortion. Why this came to mind, was that I realised, that this baby was 22 weeks, and was already a fully formed baby from 12 weeks. And yet, women can abort their baby up until 24 weeks, if its medically "not perfect" . Its pure murder- this is strong language, but this is how I see it. If a woman could see the child that she is consenting to kill, I wonder how many would go through with it. I've been on the ward when a foetus with Downs Syndrome was aborted at 22 weeks- one mother, who was so desperate to have a child, and another who voluntarily took the life of her child. If only, they could see and realise how precious this child is- its a creation of God, it has a soul. While its "quality of life" may be different- it is life that the mother is toying with and taking away. Every baby has the right to life. No one would ever consent to killing a baby once its out of the uterus, and yet somehow its seen as ok to kill a baby while it is living in the womb.
Every soul is precious in the eyes of God- whether they are a 12 week baby or a 100 year old woman! Respect life. Love life. Love the miracle that is a creation baby.
Pure Joy and Wonder!
You know what my favourite part of being a midwife is? Or one of the parts- is seeing the pure adoration in the parents eyes when they first gaze into the face of their newborn, whether it be their first or their eighth. The mothers shine with love (and sweat!), and the fathers glow with pride at the incredible feat which their wife has just performed in bringing to life a newborn soul.
I still remember vividly "my" first baby, back as a student, I was terrified, grossed out, and delighted all at once in the process, bless the midwife I was working with, she had to keep reminding me- "Your face! Control your face!"- you, see I have quite the expressive face, and whatever is going on in my mind- shows on my face! But, when that incredible mother delivered a healthy, screaming baby boy- I was overcome with awe and wonder and the miracle that is life, God is one great scientist- to be able to create a being who can then create a life! I take my hat of to Him!
I love watching mothers and fathers as they carefully examine every little feature of their newborn, the perfect little hands, with their tiny fingernails, the chubby little bodies, and round perfectly innocent faces. For every parent their child is the most perfect and beautiful of them all... (it takes an uncle or brother to point out that the baby's face is sometimes rather scrunched up looking!)
One of my sisters let me come to the birth of her child Celeste- which was wonderful miracle to witness, and helped me understand on a more powerfully emotional level the bond between a mother and baby which is formed almost instantaneously from birth!
Mothers are incredible beings to me. I am in awe of women- they go through what has been described as one of the most painful events that can happen to a person, and yet a woman chooses to go through this, as they know that they are going to have a miracle at the end, who they can love, cherish and raise as their own.
Mothers- I salute you, I am in awe of you. Thank you for being the wonders that you are!
I still remember vividly "my" first baby, back as a student, I was terrified, grossed out, and delighted all at once in the process, bless the midwife I was working with, she had to keep reminding me- "Your face! Control your face!"- you, see I have quite the expressive face, and whatever is going on in my mind- shows on my face! But, when that incredible mother delivered a healthy, screaming baby boy- I was overcome with awe and wonder and the miracle that is life, God is one great scientist- to be able to create a being who can then create a life! I take my hat of to Him!
I love watching mothers and fathers as they carefully examine every little feature of their newborn, the perfect little hands, with their tiny fingernails, the chubby little bodies, and round perfectly innocent faces. For every parent their child is the most perfect and beautiful of them all... (it takes an uncle or brother to point out that the baby's face is sometimes rather scrunched up looking!)
One of my sisters let me come to the birth of her child Celeste- which was wonderful miracle to witness, and helped me understand on a more powerfully emotional level the bond between a mother and baby which is formed almost instantaneously from birth!
Mothers are incredible beings to me. I am in awe of women- they go through what has been described as one of the most painful events that can happen to a person, and yet a woman chooses to go through this, as they know that they are going to have a miracle at the end, who they can love, cherish and raise as their own.
Mothers- I salute you, I am in awe of you. Thank you for being the wonders that you are!
The wonder of skin to skin
So as a midwife on a postnatal ward, it can be excessively busy, and one never seems to have the time to do every that one would wish. One key thing that often seems to get neglected is that of breastfeeding support. Wonderfully in the hospital in which I work, we have dedicated volunteer breastfeeding support workers who come almost daily, and a full time employed "breastfeeding specialist"- who is amazing- and seems to be able to get any baby latched on!! But, still, breastfeeding is one of those things that can rarely have enough support.
While studying I wrote a 5,000 word essay on the wonder of skin to skin... and can I just tell you- its amazing! From the very first hours onwards- it works miracles. For you midwives who never seem to have enough time to give breastfeeding support, and you ladies who don't seem to be able to latch your baby on; use skin to skin. Strip the baby off to the nappy, and place the baby diagonally across the stomach, so that the baby's nose brushes the nipple, and just leave the baby there, it can take up to 45 minutes, but baby's almost always latch on successfully, in what is known as the "biological nurturing" position.
http://breastcrawl.org/
Skin to skin helps to regulate breathing, temperature, heart rate, initiate bonding and successful breastfeeding as well as a medley of other benefits (like I said there's 5,000 words worth on this topic.. and more!) So if you are at 3 o'clock in the morning and wanting to pull your hair out because you cant seem to get baby to latch on, or if you're a midwife and have 5 women all at the same time wanting to get breastfeeding support, just strip that baby off, and place it in the biological nurturing position, and ask the women to call you in 45 minutes if the baby hasn't latched on... I tell thee! Rarely do they call you back. It is a beautiful and uber natural thing to see a woman there skin to skin with her baby. The mum loves it, and the baby loves it! And so, I love it!
While studying I wrote a 5,000 word essay on the wonder of skin to skin... and can I just tell you- its amazing! From the very first hours onwards- it works miracles. For you midwives who never seem to have enough time to give breastfeeding support, and you ladies who don't seem to be able to latch your baby on; use skin to skin. Strip the baby off to the nappy, and place the baby diagonally across the stomach, so that the baby's nose brushes the nipple, and just leave the baby there, it can take up to 45 minutes, but baby's almost always latch on successfully, in what is known as the "biological nurturing" position.
http://breastcrawl.org/
Skin to skin helps to regulate breathing, temperature, heart rate, initiate bonding and successful breastfeeding as well as a medley of other benefits (like I said there's 5,000 words worth on this topic.. and more!) So if you are at 3 o'clock in the morning and wanting to pull your hair out because you cant seem to get baby to latch on, or if you're a midwife and have 5 women all at the same time wanting to get breastfeeding support, just strip that baby off, and place it in the biological nurturing position, and ask the women to call you in 45 minutes if the baby hasn't latched on... I tell thee! Rarely do they call you back. It is a beautiful and uber natural thing to see a woman there skin to skin with her baby. The mum loves it, and the baby loves it! And so, I love it!
Tears and fears
As a newly qualified midwife- I am now the grand age of "7 months" old, there have been many tears. I felt like I needed to start this blog to share the highs and lows of a newly qualified midwife, for those of you out there who are also new, to help you know that you are not alone in your struggles and stresses as you sometimes slowly and sometimes incredibly quickly develop ones skills and abilities within the midwifery field.
Tears in midwifery come in many forms or for many reasons. As I student I thought I had it tough..ha! Then "real life midwifery" started. The first 3 weeks to put it bluntly were hell! Having trained in the north, I decided to move to London to take advantage of the many attractions, shows, galleries etc of the city. As such, not only was I a newbie, I was a newbie in a new hospital. Having to start in a place with new colleagues, protocols, equipment, clients really made it quite the struggle in the first few weeks. I was placed in the antenatal/postnatal ward, a ward with 31 beds, and 3 to 4 midwives staffing it during the day.
Talk about the "headless chicken" feeling- the 12 hours certainly zoomed by, as I tried to keep up with ensuring the 8 women and 8 babies women felt cared for, had assistance with breastfeeding, had their prescribed medications, got discharged,were gievn proper postnatal checks, had their check ups as needed etc etc etc... my head span, and the tears rolled- I am a thin skinned person, and it doesn't take much to set me off- especially when I am stressed. Wonderfully, my fellow midwives were lovely, and the women were mostly understanding and patient. But, it was myself that was my own worst critic, as I struggled- feeling as if I was not giving quality care to these new mothers and their precious babies.
Practically every day ended in tears in the first 3 weeks, but, I had hope that things would get better.. and luckily and blessedly, I was able to pick up on babies that needed to be sent to SCBU for tachypnea, women who had to get transferred to CLOMA for hypertension of 170/110, a lady having persistent heavy lochia who ended up going back to theatre, ensure that women who spoke no English had the appropriate translation. While at the same time, feeling love and appreciation from these wonderful new women- helping them to bond with their newborn through skin to skin, reassuring ladies that their babies behaviour was normal, sharing tears with a woman who was completely shattered from no sleep due to a restless baby. I slowly felt myself growing into my role, I relished the quality time that I could spend with these women, gave them as much help and attention as was possible, and delighted in seeing the simple and overpowering love emanating from the parents to their little miracle.
I love my job. It still sometimes gives me tears, but wonderfully 7 months down the line, I am slowly learning how to juggle it better, and I relish the miraculous time that I get to be a part of, by supporting women to bring new life into the world. A new life which can change the world, one person at a time :)
This blog is dedicated to many thousands of midwives who give such dedicated and loving service in their work, including my own wonderful cohort with whom I trained and graduated with.
I hope to share experiences which may help other midwives, and perhaps also help mothers understand the joy we feel in caring for them, and also know that we are truly trying our best to help their pregancy, birth and postnatal period be the most beautiful (though painful!) time of their lives
Tears in midwifery come in many forms or for many reasons. As I student I thought I had it tough..ha! Then "real life midwifery" started. The first 3 weeks to put it bluntly were hell! Having trained in the north, I decided to move to London to take advantage of the many attractions, shows, galleries etc of the city. As such, not only was I a newbie, I was a newbie in a new hospital. Having to start in a place with new colleagues, protocols, equipment, clients really made it quite the struggle in the first few weeks. I was placed in the antenatal/postnatal ward, a ward with 31 beds, and 3 to 4 midwives staffing it during the day.
Talk about the "headless chicken" feeling- the 12 hours certainly zoomed by, as I tried to keep up with ensuring the 8 women and 8 babies women felt cared for, had assistance with breastfeeding, had their prescribed medications, got discharged,were gievn proper postnatal checks, had their check ups as needed etc etc etc... my head span, and the tears rolled- I am a thin skinned person, and it doesn't take much to set me off- especially when I am stressed. Wonderfully, my fellow midwives were lovely, and the women were mostly understanding and patient. But, it was myself that was my own worst critic, as I struggled- feeling as if I was not giving quality care to these new mothers and their precious babies.
Practically every day ended in tears in the first 3 weeks, but, I had hope that things would get better.. and luckily and blessedly, I was able to pick up on babies that needed to be sent to SCBU for tachypnea, women who had to get transferred to CLOMA for hypertension of 170/110, a lady having persistent heavy lochia who ended up going back to theatre, ensure that women who spoke no English had the appropriate translation. While at the same time, feeling love and appreciation from these wonderful new women- helping them to bond with their newborn through skin to skin, reassuring ladies that their babies behaviour was normal, sharing tears with a woman who was completely shattered from no sleep due to a restless baby. I slowly felt myself growing into my role, I relished the quality time that I could spend with these women, gave them as much help and attention as was possible, and delighted in seeing the simple and overpowering love emanating from the parents to their little miracle.
I love my job. It still sometimes gives me tears, but wonderfully 7 months down the line, I am slowly learning how to juggle it better, and I relish the miraculous time that I get to be a part of, by supporting women to bring new life into the world. A new life which can change the world, one person at a time :)
This blog is dedicated to many thousands of midwives who give such dedicated and loving service in their work, including my own wonderful cohort with whom I trained and graduated with.
I hope to share experiences which may help other midwives, and perhaps also help mothers understand the joy we feel in caring for them, and also know that we are truly trying our best to help their pregancy, birth and postnatal period be the most beautiful (though painful!) time of their lives
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